Welcome back to Unfiltered with Love. I'm your host, Carrie Love. In my first episode, I touched a little bit on something that I want to go deeper into today, and that's the idea that when a relationship ends, especially after many years, it's not just the relationship that you lose. Sometimes it feels like you lose a version of yourself too. Today I want to talk about that. Not just the grief of losing a relationship, but the grief of losing a version of yourself. As I had mentioned before, I was married for 23 years. And when that chapter of my life came to an end, it wasn't just about relationships ending. It felt like an entire identity unraveled. Because when you've been in something that long, you don't just build a life with someone else, you build a version of yourself inside that life. And when I knew, really knew that things had shifted beyond repair, something in me changed. I had to grieve a version of myself that no one else even knew I had lost. I grieved being a wife, the life I had built, even the parts that didn't fit me anymore, the version of my future that I thought was going to unfold a certain way. And I think that's the part people don't always talk about. It's not just losing and grieving someone else. It's grieving a version of yourself, the version of you that existed inside that relationship, the life you built, and the future you thought you were going to have. But one of the things I've come to understand through that process is this. We are not just one identity. We're not just one role. We're multifaceted. We're daughters, mothers, partners, professionals, friends, individuals with our own thoughts, purpose, and direction. And sometimes when one of those roles changes or falls away, it can feel like everything is gone. But it's not. Because those parts of us aren't separate from who we are. They're integrated. They're all pieces of the same person. And when one part shifts, it doesn't mean you're lost. It means you're evolving. And something else I don't think gets talked about enough is what it's like to move forward after long-term relationships. Because for me, it wasn't just going from a 23-year marriage to being single. There was also a five-year relationship after that, and then being on my own again. And that transition is real. When you've spent so much of your life in partnership, you get used to sharing everything, your time, your decisions, your energy, daily life. And then suddenly you're not. And there's an adjustment that happens. Learning how to be with yourself again, make decisions independently and feel grounded in your own life without leaning on someone else in the same way. And then there's another layer to it, being thrust back into the single world, a world that often feels very different than the one you left, where people are still figuring themselves out, where everyone is coming in with their own experiences, history, and baggage. And that includes you. Because let's be real, we all carry something. Lessons, patterns, things we're still working through. And I think what makes it challenging is that you're not just learning how to be on your own again, you're also learning how to navigate connection in a completely different way. Learning how to recognize what feels aligned and what doesn't, how to meet people where they are, while also being honest with where you are. And that's not always easy because when you've done a lot of the internal work, you've grown, you've become more self-aware, you naturally start to look for relationships that reflect that. And finding someone who meets you in that space can take time. It requires patience, discernment. And sometimes it requires being willing to walk away from things that don't always feel right anymore. Not because there's something wrong with the other person, but because you've learned what aligns with who you are now. And when you've done that kind of internal work and you've grown, when you've healed, there are just certain things your spirit won't tolerate anymore, not out of judgment, but out of self-respect. And over time, something started to shift. And I realized something really important. I didn't lose myself, I didn't disappear, I evolved. I'm still her, but I'm also more, more aware, more grounded, more honest about who I am and what I need. For me, faith played a role in that process. There were moments where I didn't understand why things were unfolding the way they were, but I learned to trust that sometimes when something ends, it's not punishment, it's redirection, it's growth, it's preparation for something that aligns more with who you're becoming. And believe me, I know that that's not always the easiest. When you're in pain and something ends and you're telling yourself that it's growth and it's preparation for something that aligns more with who you're becoming, doesn't make it any less hard or difficult to go through. If you've ever gone through something that made you feel like you lost yourself, I want you to hear this. You're still there. You didn't disappear, you're just expanding. And all the pieces of who you are, they're still within you. They're just coming together in a new way. This is unfiltered with love. I'm Carrie Love, and this is just the beginning.