Welcome to Unfiltered with Love. I'm your host, Kerry Love. Something has shifted for me recently, especially as I've been thinking about relationships in my past and present. When you start seeing things more clearly in your life now, you also start seeing your past differently. And I saw something that summed it up in a really simple way. That the people who pushed you, pulled you, hurt you, or helped you, they all played a role in who you became. And I think there's truth in that, but I also think there's more to it. Because I don't think gratitude means that everything was okay or that everything should have happened the way it did. And I don't think it means you'd go back. There are things I've experienced that I would never choose again. But I can still see what they taught me, and that's a very different kind of perspective. When I look back now, I can see things more clearly than I could when I was in them. I can see where I was people pleasing, where I stayed longer than I should have, where I ignored what I felt, because I didn't want to hurt someone else, or I wasn't ready to fully accept what I already knew. When I look back now, I can see things more clearly than I could when I was in them. I can see where I was people pleasing, where I stayed longer than I should have, and where I ignored what I felt, because I didn't want to hurt someone else, or I wasn't ready to fully accept what I already knew. And at the time, none of that felt like a lesson. It just felt confusing. But distance changes things, time changes things, and growth definitely changes things because now I don't feel the same way about those people. I don't feel that emotional attachment anymore. And that doesn't mean I don't respect them or appreciate what we had in those moments. It just means I've moved forward. And I think that's something people don't always talk about. You don't stay in love with everyone forever, but you can still recognize that they were part of your life and part of your growth. For me, gratitude looks like this: not wanting the relationship back, but understanding what it showed me. Understanding what I needed, what I didn't want, and what I deserve now. It's being able to say, I wouldn't choose that again, but I wouldn't be who I am without it. And forgiveness plays a role in that too. But not in the way people sometimes think. It's not about saying everything was okay. It's not about reconnecting. It's not even about the other person. It's about not carrying it anymore. Because holding on to resentment just keeps you tied to something you've already moved past. And I've noticed this even more now. Being back out in the dating world after a long-term relationship, when you've gone through enough, you start to recognize things quicker. You start to trust what you feel a little more. And sometimes that clarity doesn't come from one experience, it comes from all of them combined. And the truth is, not every relationship was meant to last. Some were meant to show you something, some were meant to shift you, wake you up, or were just part of a version of you that you've outgrown. And I think this applies just as much to friendships too, because not every friendship is meant to last forever either. I've had friendships that came into my life at certain times, and they were exactly what I needed in that moment. And then life changes. People grow in different directions, priorities shift, and sometimes those friendships naturally fade. And I think for a long time I struggled with that, because you almost feel like something went wrong. Like if it didn't last, it must not have meant something. But I don't see it that way anymore. There have been friendships that ended and then even came back into my life later on in a completely different way. And I think that's part of growth too, because sometimes it's not about holding on to people, it's about allowing relationships to change. And just because something didn't last forever doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful. And I think part of this too is learning how to allow relationships to change, because we're constantly evolving. Who you are today isn't who you were five years ago or even a year ago. And if that growth isn't happening together, or if one person is growing and the other isn't, it creates distance. And I've realized relationships really are about the ebb and flow. It's not about staying the same. It's about checking in, being aware, and making sure you're still moving in the same direction. Because if you're not, you slowly start to drift apart. And I think that's part of why some relationships don't work out. Not because anyone did something wrong, but because the growth just wasn't happening in the same way or at the same pace. So when I think about that idea again, that people who pushed you, pulled you, hurt you, or helped you were part of your growth, I can see that now. Not because everything was perfect, but because I can see how it shaped me. And if this is something you're working through right now, I've actually started offering one-on-one emotional clarity and guidance sessions. Just a space to talk things through, to process, and to get clear on what you're feeling. There's a link on my page if you want to learn more. I don't think gratitude means I'd go back. I think it means I wouldn't be who I am without it. This is Unfiltered with Love. I'm your host, Kerry Love, and I'm really glad you're here.