Welcome back to Unfiltered with Love. I'm your host, Kerry Love, and I'm so glad you're here. Let's get into today's conversation. Last week we talked about authenticity, and after I finished recording, I couldn't stop thinking about something. What does authenticity actually look like when you're dating? More specifically, when does persistence become disrespect? That's a question I've been asking myself lately. I have a friend who has recently been trying to get me to meet someone who her and her husband is friends with. And she's said to me for several months now about meeting this guy, and I told her each time she's said it that I'm not interested because I'm seeing someone. But she has been persistent. And one day, probably a few weeks ago, I was out and saw them, and he happened to be out with her, and she introduced me to him, and he was a very nice man. But again, I am seeing somebody. And he decided that he was going to ask me to dance that night. And I said to him, No, thank you. Thank you for asking, but no, thank you. I was polite. And then a couple weeks later, I was out with this couple again, and her husband was texting this man. He was out of town, and he asked who they were out with, and they mentioned that I was out with them. And he said, Tell her the next time I am out, I am expecting her to dance with me. Here's what's interesting. I wasn't playing hard to get. I wasn't hoping he'd ask again. I had already answered. Why do we think asking again changes the answer? I've also been dealing with the same kind of a situation at work. I've had someone at work ask me out four times now, and I've said no each time. I've already said no, but somehow the conversation keeps coming back. Why? Why is this? Here's where it gets complicated, though, because there was a time in my life when persistence actually worked. There was a guy who, after my divorce, wanted to go out and date, and I wasn't really interested. Probably in hindsight, I wasn't really ready, but he was persistent. And then eventually I gave him a chance. So I've really been thinking about this. What's the difference? You know, I think that's the part that really made me stop and think because we've all heard sayings like, don't give up, fight for what you want. And sometimes that's really good advice. Sometimes people are just nervous to ask someone out and maybe asking again later does make sense. But I think there's a difference between giving someone time and refusing to accept their answer. I don't know exactly where that line is, I really don't, but I do know this. I don't want someone to keep trying to convince me after I've already made a decision. And honestly, I don't want to have to convince someone to choose me either. I want someone to choose me because they genuinely want to, not because I finally gave in. I think those are two very different things. I think the difference is this. Persistence before someone knows you can be romantic. Persistence after someone has clearly made a decision isn't romance anymore. It's refusing to respect their choice. I've realized something about myself through all of this. If I'm interested, you'll know. If I'm not, you'll know that too. I'm not interested in playing games or pretending or keeping options open just because I can. When I choose someone, I choose them. When I don't, I don't. That's what feels authentic to me. Maybe all of this really isn't about dating. Maybe it's about respect. The more I've thought about it, the more I've realized this conversation really isn't just about dating. It's about respecting another person's ability to make their own decisions. Even if we don't like the answer. Even if we're disappointed and we wish that they'd choose differently. I think respect means believing that another adult knows what's right for their own life. We don't have to agree with it, we don't have to understand it, but we can still respect it. Respecting another person's words, another person's choices, another person's no. Because one of the most loving things we can do is believe people when they tell us who they are, and believe them when they tell us what they want. This week, if someone gives you an answer, respect it. Don't assume you know better, don't assume they'll change their mind. And if you're the one saying no, remember, you don't have to apologize for being honest. Because the right people won't need you to explain your boundaries over and over again. They'll respect them. Thanks for hanging out with me today. If you enjoyed this conversation, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a message, leave a review, or share the episode with someone who might need it. Until next time, keep asking good questions, keep being curious, and most importantly, keep showing up as yourself. This is Unfiltered with Love. I'm your host, Kerry Love. I'll see you next week.